Tuesday, January 29, 2008

If Its Psychologically Advanced Enough To Be Considered A Pet, It Probably Shouldn't Be Sold In A Mall Kiosk

So all else has failed. Its time to buy a franchise! While perhaps Quiznos is the most aggressive franchise marketeer, you want something... edgier, just a little bit more... cruel. Not Abu Ghraib cruel, just something that will show the world, I too can capitalize off of the frailty of the disempowered masses.

Sounds like you're ready to set up a Hermit Crab Kiosk! Here's how:

1) Buy A Kiosk. Or in industry speak, a Retail Merchandising Unit (RMU). Choose between you class act, traditional kiosk with fully enclosed counters, or your more self-contained, Interior RMU. Or if your feeling particularly adventurous and want to take it outside, opt for the Exterior RMU. There is truly a kiosk for every occasion.
2)Buy bulk Hermit Crabs and Hermit Crab supplies.
3) Put it all together.
4)Watch your financial woes disappear!

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