Sometimes you close the bar drinking too much Bud Light -- seriously, any Bud Light is too much Bud Light, I was so not in charge of that decision. And then you wake up in the "morning" and realize, "Eggs! Scrambled with spinach and mushrooms, that is exactly what I need" (normally you would realize, "Spliff, stat!" but you smoked a lot last night).
And then you look at your case of Jack's Eggs* (fresh from Long Island) and realize, "hey, that eggs kind of pointy. Why is this one textured? These shells look really thin. Oh my god, this carton is 80% empty, I probably already have cancer."
And then you look up all the reasons why you should be eating organic eggs (animal rights! lower cholesterol!) and realize your probably going to keep abiding by the convenience of modern food distribution infrastructures and be getting bodega eggs for the rest of your life.
*Interestingly the primary search result for Jack's Eggs brings you to Jack Eggs - Eggzajerations Page a gallery of photoshopped female body builders. I guess the girl who writes for the internet's foremost integration of animals and sex should not question what other people deem "important enough for the internet". But I'm going to anyway.
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