Monday, October 1, 2007

Monkey Business Escalates to Riots

A gang of South African baboons have been breaking into homes and cars, stealing food, and causing mayhem with their erratic behavior. The group has already been linked to race-related violence, but previous outbreaks were limited to screeching, taunting, and indecent exposure.

It is believed that the clash broke out after a French tourist mistakenly provoked a high-ranking gang member outside an open market. According to one eyewitness, the Frenchman spat on the him while trying to correct his pronunciation of a type of gourmet cheese. This was misinterpreted as mockery by the typically excitable primate.

Witnesses report the crowd became agitated as the two exchanged insults, culminating in the symbolic throwing of feces, a popular battle cry among locals.

Authorities responding to the scene expect to control the situation within the day. Local officials attribute the clash to racial tension and economic hardship.

Video: These Monkeys Mean Business -

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