Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Tara Caught in Possible Meth Scandal

Tara the monkey was detained Monday in a Raleigh-Durham, NC subdivision after flinging feces at unfortunate passers-by. Having climbed atop a flagpole, it took two hours to harness the monkey as she alternatively was seen foaming at the mouth and attempting to rub her crotch on the perch.

Suspicions arose of Tara's descent into drug abuse on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean, as she was frequently seen pulling the hairs out of her arms and did not return for either of the sequels as allegedly the water, "freaked her out".

Released to the custody of her handlers, Tara has yet to be seen in public since the incident. Her handlers have requested their privacy during this difficult period, "we just want Tara to get the help she needs". Though people close to the star-monkey have cited both the pressure to procreate and her displacement from her native habitat as factors contributing to her downward spiral.

"We love her," said Tara's longtime pal, Acumba, "we just feel if she comes home, that things will get better in her life".

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