Thursday, December 27, 2007

New York Knicks coach mauled by Frisco tiger!

The San Francisco Zoo remains closed today as authorities investigate the fatal mauling of New York Knicks' coach Isiah Thomas, whom witnesses say was seen taunting a Siberian tiger at the railing of a sealed grotto on Tuesday. The incident ends a sad chapter in Knicks' history, as the large jungle cat finally accomplished what New York protesters could not. Ignoring fans' pleas to fire the embattled coach, Knicks president James Dolan only last week gave his support to Thomas ... plus a complimentary Zoo Pass with coupon good for a free endangered animal ring tone. The Knicks honored their unfortunate coach on Wednesday by charging out and losing to the Orlando Magic, 110-96.

"Siberian tigers tend to become aggressive when exposed to shooting percentages below 35 percent," said wild animal expert Roger Smale, curator of the San Diego Wildlife Park. "Tigers appreciate sound defensive principles and teamwork. Sadly coach Thomas was in the wrong place at the wrong time." The Magic had lost four straight at home before Wednesday's victory, getting 26 points from Hedo Turkoglu and 25 from Rashard Lewis.

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